I’m not gonna lie: making high quality cinema costs money. In this business, chances are pretty good that if you’re not writing a big check, you’re stroking someone’s ego in the hope that they’ll write one to you. It’s tough out there for an artist. (As an aside, look at how closely the phrases “big check” and “big cock” resemble one another, in English. Hmmmmmm.)
Why bring this up now?
Back in the day Gem and I made a movie that was bankrolled by a partner. Legal injunctions prohibit me from naming him, but I will say he has deep pockets . . . and a little cock. The film in question was a straight-to-DVD number called Harlette. Gem played the lead role, Chastity Harlette, a private investigator with a steel trap mind, a heart of gold, and a pussy of silk. She relied on her twin 34Cs as much as her ever-present 9mm. This curvy cumshoe was put on the case of a missing person, who just so happened to be a movie producer with deep pockets and a big dick.
See what we’re dealing with here?
The thing is, Harlette the movie is based on a detective novel I wrote. Spent over a year on it. Many was the night I was at the word processor, and Gemini was under the desk, head bobbing in my lap, helping the pages go by. Given that routine, is it any wonder that the final draft came in at over 800 pages? What can I say? I enjoy writing, and I love having Gem suck my cock! Suffice it to say, I loved the project.
When I finally closed the laptop for the evening, we’d head out for some pizza, or some Chinese food. We’d dream out loud about the movie we hoped would be optioned. Even then Gem was talking about how Chastity Harlette needed to be brought to life onscreen. She was full of costume ideas, and practiced dialog in between bites of pupu platter.
Fun times. But be careful what you wish for.
In contrast to the writing of the novel, the months we spent making Harlette the movie were some of the toughest Gem and I ever endured. She’d be in a makeup trailer at 5:45, sucking down diet Mt. Dew before hitting the set or location to suck down something else. By the time we got back to the loft at night, she was usually too fucked out to fuck. “Oh, baby, tomorrow night, I promise!” was her mantra. Hard to believe, right? Talk about touch and go!
Midway through shooting it became apparent that the money man was interested in one thing. Well, make that five things: Gemini’s mouth, pussy, ass, and left and right tits. The whole thing was a very expensive attempt to get his peepee inside of her, and get it on film. When you’re filthy rich, I guess nothing’s out of the question when it comes to chasing that fantasy fuck.
The silly asshole should have just offered her a pile of money and who knows? In any event, what we ended up doing was making a very high-priced home movie. Back then I didn’t have the legal advice I do now. Hell, I could barely afford to keep us in lube! The fine print gave Mr. Little Dick full discretion over distribution and release of Harlette. As such, I had to turn over all copies of the finished product. If there’s anything that sucks more than killing yourself for a film, it’s not being able to watch that film.
However, besides the money we were paid, which was ample, there is one artifact I was able to keep.
One of the final bits of production was the creation of a main menu for the DVD. Thirty seconds is all that’s left, for me to share with you, anyway, of Harlette. My lawyers recently okayed me to share it on the blog, citing eminent domain and the fact that the supreme court has roundly rejected prior restraint in the past. Hopefully this isn’t too big a teaser for you. I’ll shut up now, and I hope you are able to get a feel for Harlette, starring Gemini Michalak.
No comments:
Post a Comment